September 2014: Ten Years Gone

So this is my first post from university! Yay!

lebowski1

I’m incredibly proud of myself for getting here and what I’ve overcome to achieve this, but now I’m onto a new set of challenges… Living with teenagers. Technically you can argue that they are adults who have every right to be able to exercise their own freedom, and grow and learn as I have, but the other argument is I really fucking hate people.

I like individuals, individuals are cool, they have interests and hobbies and interesting experiences to share – people are loud, obnoxious, and really fucking annoying.

I’ve never been good with crowds, and the first few weeks at the campus showed me just how busy the university campus could be. Add to that living on campus in flats with around 200+ students who at night turn into shrieking feral animals and you find that I am now in a world I am wholly unfamiliar and uncomfortable with.

Humiliated Cat (1)

Add to that the generation gap here, and I really feel like a fish out of water. I’m three weeks in and have barely made any friends, rarely had the opportunity to go out and meet people. People who I have met have been incredibly arrogant or just totally off their heads on something.

I guess this is what happens when you’re a late twenty-something in university.

I play well with others. Others, not you

On the flip side of the coin, I’m actually learning how to be more independent, teaching myself how to ration food, budget, do a weekly shop, laundry – all that jazz. It’s been great to finally get out and really look after myself after being kept for so long at home. I’m really enjoying being somewhere else with only myself to be responsible of. The course is also great, some ideas and techniques I had briefly touched on at college are coming to the forefront this year and it’s been really interesting to get to grips with these concepts.

On the mental health side of things I’ve been really struggling, the stress and anxiety of these first few weeks has made it extremely difficult for me to sleep properly. I’ve had to use relaxation techniques a lot more frequently, even to the point now where I need to listen to a recording of rain on a loop to help with this. I’ve also noticed a dip in my mood after the first week, maybe due to this feeling of being a fish out of water, but my medication is still lower than where I had initially tried to come off months ago. I’m also roughly around 6 weeks into this new dosage so there’s a good chance that this hasn’t balanced out yet chemically in my brain.

Human - what r u doing - human - stahp

I’ve registered with the local GP surgery, and tried to make an appointment this week, unfortunately they were a) closed, and b) a lovely member of the admin team informed me I should come on a Tuesday evening as they will need to do some kind of induction thing. Oh, they’re going to have a field day with me.

So that’s my story so far. I’ve got very little planned in the immediate future, aside from the university studies. Fortunately I’ve just learned that my lovely paramour shall be coming to visit next weekend! The distance has really sucked, but we’ve kept in touch and she’s really helped keep me sane through the isolated moments of these past weeks.

People don't always post on my Facebook wall but when they do it's my birthday

I also celebrated my final year of being a twenty-somthing last weekend, which means there’s roughly one year left to this blog’s existence and then I bring out a new blog á la Adrian Mole as a 30-somthing living with depression. So yeah. Get your fill of being a 20-something whilst you can here.

N.B.  Also, this week saw Mental Health Awareness Day. Not that I/we needed to be reminded or made aware of mental illness here… It’s just something that maybe I thought I’d share and maybe if you did some digging you might find some interesting articles and shit on it.

Until next time, much love ❤

When we break a bone vs when we struggle with mental health issues