January: The New Year

So this is the end of 2013 and the beginning of 2014… Well, technically this is now the end of January, but hey, I started this 4 weeks ago, dammit! Personally, the past year has been a very cruel mistress, there have been some high points that have occurred, maybe even great things, but this will be the year I will always remember for taking away my best friend.

SAMSUNG

I’ve missed him everyday since he passed, but the holidays this year has made me miss him more the most. Those who’ve kept up with events on here will know that his condition deteriorated around the holidays last year as well, so for me I wonder if I’ll ever see Christmas and New Year as any other time other than the time I started to lose my friend to cancer.

It’s been hard, and I’m amazed that it seems like almost everyone close to Matt has managed to come out of this year kind of okay. And so maybe that’s something I am mostly grateful for, that we’ve all managed to be okay and get on with our lives, which is a bittersweet sentiment for sure.

Day 11 - The dog still thinks I'm fur

What I really wanted to share in this post though was a list of things I put together this time last year. I don’t believe in New Years resolutions, but I do believe in setting goals or things to achieve. This is something I have picked up since my last major bout of depression; always make plans, give yourself something to achieve no matter how small.

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So this is my list. I keep it on my phone, in the cloud, always available to see. Some of it is just general bullshit, but I’m going to break it down…

1. Stay in College

This was the first thing on my list, and was always at the forefront of my mind. I have a history of dropping out of education and losing interest, and whilst I’ve started the second year in a bit of a slump I’m still pushing through. It gets better than that though; I’m doing extremely well with some of the top marks in my class and the best thing about this is for the first time ever I’ve applied for university! It looks as though I’m set to achieve my long-term goal of leaving home in 2014.

2. Keep Going to The Gym 3 – 5 Days a Week

Okay, so I’ve kinda lied on this one, I haven’t managed to go more than 3 times, and in recent weeks I’ve barely had time for the gym because I’ve just not made time. What I am proud of is continuing to go to the gym to keep active. Now if I could only sort out my diet…

3. Be Healthy

I’m bumping this higher on the list because, y’know, segue! I’ve not really done that well on this, because I rarely do. I love food. Crap food. Takeaway food. Junk food. I crave these things all the time. I’ve done better this year I feel; I think I maybe eat takeways every other week, I’ve begun weaning myself away from caffeine products (mostly cola related fizzy drinks), I’m drinking more water, not eating later at night, and trying to include more greenery in my diet. On the other hand I still eat portions that are bigger than they need to be and I don’t necessarily choose the healthiest meals to eat. This is something that has started well, but I’m really hoping to improve on over the course of the next year.

4. Find a part-time job

Well, this didn’t happen. But my luck may change in the next few weeks as a few positions have opened up at some local businesses I know so, y’know… fingers crossed.

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5. Complete an Independent Script

Again, this hasn’t happened, and has generally been down to a lack of time and managing my own free time. I was hoping to get it completed or at least worked on during the Christmas break, but as the days dwindled it just simply didn’t materialise. That’s not to say that I’ve given up, just that I need to learn to manage my time to write the script (or to write in general).

6. Buy a Mac Computer

So this was purely self-indulgent, but also practical at the same time. Not having a part-time job made saving any money difficult, but thanks to some family loving over the years and my birthday in October I finally managed to afford one. So whilst it was a gluttonous indulgence, replacing my old PC with the iMac is like moving from a Model T Ford to a Ford Mustang – the ability to do all the work I’ve wanted to do but couldn’t because my PC was so entirely under powered is a real blessing. On another side note, my family has been amazing this year once again in supporting through everything. I really don’t know what I would have done without them, my mother in particular, and want to take a moment to thank them (even though she will never likely read this).

7. Keep in Better Contact with Friends

Okay, this I’ve ticked off as mission accomplished, but I don’t feel that way. I’ve made time for a lot of my friends this year, but I also seem to have lost touch with others who, for whatever reasons they may be, have now lost interest in keeping regular contact with me. And that’s a genuine shame.

8. Don’t Let Anything Happen This Year to Stop You From Achieving Your Goals

This one was the biggie. I have a track history of letting events affect my decision-making skills, letting my emotions get the better of me. It could be something as little as an argument with my father to something as major as someone I know dying. That being said, 2013 was the most challenging – from a major family argument in which it seemed like my father was walking out on us forever to losing my best friend at the start of the year as well as all the family related illnesses over the course of 2013. Yet, I’m still in school, I’m relatively sober, and have applied for university for the first time ever in my life! Huzzah!

I guess it’s now a question of where do I go from here? Well I’ve been trying to figure out exactly where that is, so here is a list of what I have come up with thus far:

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So most of these have already been covered like the health/fitness thing (which is a typical goal of most people BTW), even the college inclusion is a relist from last year. The new ones, however, are goals that I’ve had in the pipeline for a while now. Since before I began my college course I’ve been working on an escape plan to leave Coventry, whether that is via university or a job, I’m getting the hell outta dodge. I’ve written about it numerous times that I’m fed up and want to move to some place new, now it seems I’m just a matter of months away from getting my wish.

So that’s it for this month – yes, as you may be aware I’m reducing my postings to monthly entries. However, should circumstances arise I shall be attempting to post more in a month. So until next time I’d like to hear what goals you have set yourselves. So please leave a message in the comments below and I’ll catch you all soon!

Trying to get life together - nothing has ever been more accurate

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