Week 67 – St. Anxious

Metallicat

So this is another kind of rehash of last week’s entry, or atleast an update.

I probably shouldn’t continue to moan, seeing as I’ve basically slept the last 2 years away, but the lack of sleep is killing me. It’s been fantastic to wake up at a reasonable time every day, but when it’s waking after less than 4 hours of solid sleep it’s just depressing. It’s also not helping that becoming anxious before bed is keeping me awake long into the night.

The GP says it could be a side effect of quitting smoking a few weeks ago, but to be honest my anxiety during the day isn’t that much different to how it was prior to the medication changes and I didn’t have a heavy addiction unlike some smokers.

So my own train of thought says there are only 2 possible reasons why I’m finding myself becoming anxious before sleep:

1)      The medication hasn’t begun compensating for anxiety yet

2)      The medication can’t compensate for anxiety.

This makes me anxious.

Ok, poor joke. If the new drugs won’t help with anxiety it’s no big problem. It’s kind of interesting to be a little off the reservation, it almost feels like what my life might be like without medication. In a zombie apocalypse I’d have to find some way to cope, it’s not like the pharmaceutical industry would continue to spew out more drugs… Then again, it is the pharmaceutical industry…

Wait a second... It's a trap!

In any case, maybe putting more responsibility on myself to manage without chemical intervention in itself may help to improve my life overall. Sure, maybe the result is a lack of sleep overall, but until it comes to a point where I can no longer sleep at all maybe I can learn to cope with it.

So I’ll continue to take the pills and hope that the anxiety subsides as time goes on. If it doesn’t, maybe it won’t be as much of a problem as I think it could be and will actually be a turning point with my issues.

Baby - Stand back guys, I got this shit

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