This entire blog should just probably come with a trigger warning.
This week was my best friend’s funeral, which kind of sounds like the title to an awful Adam Sandler flick. I don’t honestly know how I’ve actually made it through this, but somehow I have. There’s no words that have given me solace, no shoulder that’s big enough to cry on, but some how I’ve made it through to this weekend completely alone.
I should probably give some credit to my college for arranging the recording of a podcast at a big radio station this week. Fortunately the recording of the podcast coincided with the band Biffy Clyro recording a live session who we also got to meet after their performance. We were also fortunate enough to interview another local band for our podcast. In a month that has been entirely full of suckiness, this was a day I really needed to remind me what of the good things in life.
With that all said, I think it’s only now that this is all hitting me. I’ve put on a brave face for the last 2 weeks, hiding behind smiles and inappropriate jokes, and now it’s all coming down on me like a ton of bricks. The funeral was a nice affair. I was given the opportunity to be a part of the ceremony, carrying my friend for the last time. The minister read a great obituary that was written by my friend’s mother. There were also some nice relevant poems read too.
I guess this whole thing has just felt beyond surreal. I’ve barely been able to string together an original thought for weeks. Believe it or not, to get this far into this post it’s taken me nearly 3 hours. I just feel like I’m in a daze, and slowly but surely I’m coming to terms with the fact that I will never see him again.
Remember that blog I started writing last week? That obituary type thing I was going to do for my friend? Yeah, I still haven’t been able to finish it. I hope somehow I’ll find a way to write something more centric to honour my best friend, but right now I just feel completely lost.