Well, surprise surprise, we survived another apocalypse. I guess this means we have to go through with Christmas and New Year then, huh? Which is a shame, because, y’know, I was really looking forward to not having to do this holiday at all. I guess the only thing to do is to hold tight, and brace myself…
Look at that, I managed to fit in a Dexter and Game of Thrones meme in one post! Amaze-balls!
(Yeah, I won’t write that, ever again.)
So I’m trying desperately not to write anything meaningful because I know I’m beginning to feel really shitty. I feel like I’m about to explode at any second. I don’t know if it’s because it’s Christmas, or because there’s been so much shit going on these last few weeks (See weeks 49 and 50). Let’s be honest here, there’s going to be a little of both.
We’re 2 days away from Christmas, it’s also the night before Christmas Eve, and I don’t feel in the spirit of things at all. Yeah, present have been wrapped, mince pies have been eaten, and trees have been decorated, but to me this all just feels like another holiday – just some time off to distract from the monotony of daily life. Maybe that’s overly pessimistic, or perhaps it’s more to do with growing up, but fundamentally I think it’s because I just don’t care.
I’m sick of the stress around this time of year, of the high expectations where you have to interact with family you don’t really like, or buy presents for people you realise you actually don’t really know that well – and to be fair it probably shows in what I bought people. I literally just bought the first thing that came to mind. Why stress about getting someone something perfect when you can get them a gift card that they can then spend on what they actually want, you know? – This whole holiday just fucks with heads.
Maybe that whole paragraph sounds selfish, and arrogant, and obnoxious, and a lot of other negatively connotated words, but why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be these super-people that know exactly what everyone wants, and to be strong enough to be socaially active for an extended period of time? Why is it that at this time of year we expect so much more of ourselves than any other time of year?
This is quickly snowballing ( +1 poor pun point) into a cynical piece and I do apologise. To be honest, if a lot of the last few paragraphs come across as a cut and pasted it’s because this grew to around a 2000 word rant about how the world sucks and I how I just need to rule it, but I don’t want this post to be a negative one. Not this week.
I think the thing most really is to remember with what ever mental health problem you have to not forget about your own needs. There’s no point in wrecking yourself for this holiday if you’re only going to spend the next 51 weeks putting yourself back together. So take don’t forget to give yourself a holiday this holiday, because it’s probably you that needs it the most.
Merry Christmas, everyone. Stay strong.