So here we are, 1 year later.
In trying to wrap up a year’s worth of postings I’ve read over a few of my previous entries, trying to work out how this year could be summed up best, and I think I can do that in one word: growth.
This year there has been a lot of change, and not just in this blog (which looking back was quite painfully written in the early days). I’ve grown as a writer, I’ve learnt how to be a better writer (at least I hope). I’ve grown as a human being; I’ve begun to understand to greater lengths as to how my psychology works, and how to be a better person. Instead of being spiteful about the past I think I’ve managed to overcome a lot of failures and shortcomings.
That said, I know that I still have areas to improve, and there is always more room to grow (so says my waistline after Christmas).
Whilst the last several weeks have been quite difficult coming to grips with some extremely bad news, overall this year has been a good year. I kept writing this blog for a start. I also began writing more in my free time – although finishing is something that I’m still no good at. I’ve begun college, and I’m still attending, which is insane! I drove the length and breadth of the United Kingdom without owning my own car. Hell, I even crossed the border into the Republic of Ireland! My problems with debt have more or less been resolved, and I still have a roof over my head. I have a family that still continue to support me, regardless of how I sometimes perceive their behaviour towards me.
I may still be using an ancient computer, but at least it still runs and allows me to write and run programmes. Life isn’t all that bad.
So looking ahead to the New Year what do I expect, and what should you expect from this blog?
Well, firstly this blog will continue, that is until the title becomes moot when I hit my 30s – but that’s still a good few years away. 😉
Secondly, this blog will still focus on my grappling with reality, but also to continue in the same vain it has done for the past several months. I’ll be attempting to talk more positively about anxiety and depression, and hopefully begin using more of my experiences to talk about mental health, and above all remain honest about it and my own strife.
Finally what I expect of myself next year, without declaring them as New Years Resolutions:
- To quit smoking for good
- To increase my fitness and health – so more gym time and less take-away foods and booze, eat healthier
- To remain in college and be on course to a successful completion – Distinctions would be a plus
- To find some means of income – being an unemployed full time student sucks.
- Not to let anything happen in the next 12 months stop me from achieving any of the above goals
That last one exists because I know myself. In the past I’ve allowed problems in my personal life to interfere with my life goals and ambitions, be it relationships or deaths they’ve changed my views on life temporarily enough to throw a spanner into education or work. This time, regardless of what it is that happens I won’t let it stop me from doing what I want to do.
So with that sobering message, I want to leave you with 2 songs. The first is Frank Sinatra singing “My Way”, a song I listened to whilst writing this post. If you were wondering why some of this post felt a little preachy this is why.
The second is a cover of “What Are You Doing New Years Eve?” by Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschannel. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have the past 2 New Years.
Happy New Year guys and gals, I’ll see you in 2013.