Week 15

I’m going to do a semi-recap this week after the over blown rant that was week 14. Not that overblown rants are wrong, they just tend to sit quite heavily.


This week has been rather hectic for me. Active for Health began, there was a catch up with Spectrum/Rethink, and then there was physiotherapy and Mindfulness. The main one worth noting is Mindfulness. I wrote a fortnight back that I’d delve into it more after having attended and… well… now I am.


Mindfulness is… interesting. The sessions are divided into two. The first half is essentially the mindfulness techniques, which are essentially relaxation techniques, which teach you to think more in the moment and appreciate your senses and surroundings. The second half is more CBT focused. This tends to focus on ground that I’ve previously tread with CBT, whereby it looks to have you focus on the real world goals; what really makes you tick, and what exactly triggers low moods and how you can overcome them yourself. Essentially it’s about looking at what you can control, and overcoming your own fears.


The sessions themselves have been great for being in a group that is going through similar issues. I feel a various points that I’m still inarticulate to describe what it is I actually experience, but with others having similar issues I find they’ve helped me to understand exactly what I’ve experienced. In some cases its visa versa. Whilst Mindfulness isn’t exactly group councelling, it is very close. I’ve noticed a few people have already trailed away from it, but for the time being I think it’s worthwhile to continue exploring this route. Another part of Mindfulness explores some form of meditation. I’ve always been interested in meditation, but I’ve always lacked the willpower and knowledge to further delve into it. I’ve found myself using it several times after last week’s session in an attempt to relax and appreciate the moment more during daytime hours. Unfortunately my mother and grandmother got seriously ill within a few hours of this session and so I’ve struggled to find time to “meditate”. Instead I’m finding myself becoming more aware of the responsibilities around my family, which I had probably lost sight of some point last year as I slumped into depression. Whilst my family being ill isn’t necessarily a blessing, it’s certainly helped me to step up my game, and actually be more productive with my days. The downside is (as I write this post) I seem to be coming down with the cold my grandmother (and now my Grandpa) has. I know, I know – boo hoo. The bitch of it all is I can’t really afford to be ill this week. With another Mindfulness session tomorrow, as well as signing on, I don’t particularly want to be ill and miss these. I’ve also got a surprise birthday party that I’m running interference on. This week is most definitely not the week I would have chosen to come down with anything.


Regardless I’ve hopefully caught it early enough with cold & flu tablets to starve it off for a few days, if not altogether completely.


CBT also taught me late last year that to go through life without planning for anything in the future will lead to low mood. If you don’t have something to look forward to you will just simply buckle. The next few weeks should help increase my good mood (if it has at all been low these last weeks) with the gym now in full swing, as well as possibly starting a short course over the summer, and of course a few good films I’ve been waiting a while to see. For those who aren’t aware of my other blog (http://th3watchman.wordpress.com/) I am a huge film fan, and comic book nerd. Next week sees the release of The Avengers in cinemas, and over the next few months a reboot for Spider-Man, the sequel to The Dark Knight, and a semi-prequel-Alien-film, Prometheus. It sounds silly to be excited for these films, but I think looking forward to trivial things like this keep me going. I mean, when reality is fairly bleak how else do you escape? So yes, I feel stupidly childish for being excited for these films, but this is what keeps me going. I’ve just said that twice haven’t I?


I’ve also agreed to go with my family to visit extended members of my family in Northern Ireland in a few months (I can’t recall off the top of my head if I had previous mentioned this…) which I had some reservations about going, but I haven’t seen a lot of them in close to 12 years. So I’m a little nervous (I generally think I’ve either got nothing in common with them anymore, or that I’ll come off as a complete tool), but overall I think I feel my confidence improving so it should be a good little holiday from all this here.


So that’s been my week. Thanks for reading.


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