I must apologise once again for my tardiness. The last 3 weeks have been a real struggle to get anything done. I’ve lacked a lot of motivation to do much at all. The crux of it all is mostly to do with my financial woes; which you are probably well aware of by now. Fortunately this week I’ve finally organised the Debt Relief Order I’ve needed to do to help alleviate the issue. It’s by no means the end of the issue, but it’s certainly taking a closer step towards it becoming resolved.
So what have I been doing to keep myself occupied? Well, as with a lot of cases of depression, I lost interest in a lot of things I enjoyed. This blog suffered for one. Video gaming took a back seat, and I generally paid little attention to what I was watching on TV. It was fun (he says in a sarcastic tone). I had a free month’s subscription to Netflix that generally went to waste. I did have my share of social engagements though. A friend of mine from school got married 2 weeks ago, which I was invited to the reception a few days after the actual day. I had been keen to go a few months ago, but as the date drew closer I felt like I’d be alone there. Fortunately I managed to pluck up some courage to ask if I could bring a friend, months before this, which was met with a comforting, “of course you can.” So I took another school friend with me, hoping there may be a little school reunion on the cards. We spent the night propping up the bar alone before wishing the happy couple all the best and departing a few hours later. It’s not the bride’s fault for this. She just never kept in touch with anyone else we used to mutually know. Which is life, you know? People drift apart. The bride and I had barely spoken in a year because of her own work commitments and my own issues. That is life. I don’t hold resentment towards her, nor anyone else I’ve drifted away from. It’s just the way it is.
There are relationships that have grown apart. There are relationships that are growing closer together. It’s always your own responsibility to maintain those relationships, and I think that’s where I’ve been struggling these past months. Not because I feel that I don’t want to maintain them, or that I’m the only one attempting to maintain them, but because when I have felt my worst all I want to do is be isolated. With Facebook and Twitter it’s much easier to remain social, without having to leave your own home. In the last 18 months, however, I’ve felt a rising dislike for my friends on social media. Between reading status updates like “Why doesn’t he like me!” or a comment like “This is why I vote BNP” I’ve really begun to suffer relationship fatigue. It’s probably more in line with over exposure to these sites that have led to these feelings. Having little to no routine to my day, with not much of worth to occupy my time I am constantly checking back and forth between these pages. It got so bad at one point last year I stopped using Facebook for a week in hopes of quelling this rising sense of loathing.
This for me though is another symptom of slipping into a deeper depression, anger and/or resentment towards others on social media. Sure people do feel this way towards Facebook, etc, at different times, and there are times in my past I can recall where it was just a resentment towards a flippant comment. For me these days it’s deeper than that. I tend to dwell on other peoples lack of understanding, or their fundamentalist Christian ideals, or their complete selfishness. So what I really need to do is learn to ignore these people’s comments. I need to have something that will occupy my time and not be eroding of my psyche. This is where the Active for Heath programme comes into play.
I mentioned this a while back, I’m sure. Essentially what this programme is about is to enable health professionals to refer patients who would benefit from taking regular exercise. This includes:
- Any low risk sendentary patients who would benefit from regular physical activity
- Mild to moderate and stable diabetes, blood sugar consistently below 10
- Mild to moderate and stable asthma/COPD
- Mild to moderate rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis or osteoporosis
- Mild to moderate depression, stress or anxiety
- Back pain – lumbar, sciatic, spodylitis
These are just a few of the patients to be included in this programme, and have been taken verbatim from the leaflet my advisor at Spectrum/Rethink provided me with. Most GPs aren’t aware of it (inCoventryanyway), and you do have to dig for it yourself if you’re able. I was fortunate enough to mention it to someone who’s well accustomed to programmes that are available to the public, but are usually buried on the local city council website.
What the programme offers is a 12 week exercise programme catered to you. You’ll have a body MOT at weeks 1, 6, and 12, along with expert advice to help keep you motivated. All it will cost you is £2.50 per session. Bargain.
I took the pamphlet and all the information that came with it to my GP a few weeks ago, who was more than happy to refer me, knowing exactly who it was she would need to refer me to. I’m still waiting for a referral, but in all honesty we should know by now that the system doesn’t respond straight away.
If you would like to consider joining the programme, use the contact information I’ve provided below. Unfortunately I don’t know whether all local councils are providing this, but it may be worth using the contact information to search your local government website. Below are the details for Coventry City Council’s programme.
Tel: 024 7683 3148